What You Need As An Adult, Capable of Staunching Wounds
- Gauze pads and bandages in assorted sizes
- Adhesive tape – excellent for former love interests whom you’ve abducted and are systematically torturing
- Individually packaged alcohol wipes – no, that’s what the Sambuca’s for, doll
- Disposable latex gloves
- Scissors and tweezers
- Syrup of ipecac for poisoning, should you accidentally guzzle Drano
- A thermometer
- Antiseptic ointments for scrapes and cuts
- Sunscreen
- Medicine for pain, fever and hangovers, primarily
- Hydrocortisone cream for minor skin iritations
- Burn ointment or spray
- Petroleum jelly
- Antihistamine like Benadryl
- Antacid
- Antidiarrheal
- Cough syrup
- Heating pad and ice pack
- Insect repellent
- Measuring spoon for dosing
- Emergency telephone numbers
- First-aid manual
