For your retro workout enjoyment may I recommend…Miss Jane Fonda?
Boinggg! When’s the last time you heard that? You were standing there in leg warmers, right? And Jane was lookin’ wicked in that shag.
At the ripe ages of 22 or so, your NoonCity pals used to ritually do Jane Fonda’s Workout together, like the true pair of obsessive-compulsives we are. For a 30-minute workout, it was surprisingly easy – and gave you results fast. Rip into Jane for two solid weeks, and bufferie would follow – or Jane would see your head on a pike. Jane brooked no nonsense. Jane was demanding. But Jane got it done.
As the years passed, I got away from Jane. Call it boredom, or a fickle heart, but I tried others – Kathy Smith, Billy Blanks, Brian Kest. Gone were the raised eyebrows when I disappeared from a room without warning, mumbling, “Gotta do Jane.” Eventually, I finally even lost the cassette tape – which had warped right at the point where James Ingram was seducing you during the buttocks routine:
“If it’s violins she wants, let them plaaaaaaa” Squeal.
(Time to leap up and advance the warbling.) Imagine my thrill, then, when searching for a new aerobic exercise, my best friend said, “Why don’t you try Jane?”
Jane! My old inamorata! How could I have forgotten?
My friend even had the tape, stashed away all this time! And she sent it to me! What a pal.
So, What Happened?
I did Jane once again – and it was just like old times. Jane rules. I felt my body springing back to the strains of Michael Jackson’s Wanna Be Startin’ Something and REO Speedwagon and a sensation of being imprisoned in some 80’s netherworld hell. However, there’s something soothing about doing that workout from your younger years. You almost feel – well – younger.
