How to Groom Hair Down There

Published by admin on Tagged Body, Beauty & Health grooming pubic waxing

I attended a cult revival at the Angelika art house theater recently of Disco Dolls In Hot Skin, a 70’s 3-D porn flick starring John Holmes, an actor whose oeuvre I’d never caught before. While we cackled madly in our 3-D glasses at the midnight show along with the rest of the audience, we were struck by one significant element. Nah, it wasn’t Johnny, interesting though his charms might be.  

It was grooming.

Yes, it was definitely the 70’s with its reverence for all things natural.  Not only did the babes not shave under their arms, they had a veritable old growth forest down south.   It was, how do I say it…?  Repulsive.  I mean, gross. Shudder. Thank heaven we’ve progressed.  Or…HAVE we?  Last week I watched The Secretary with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal and noted the same forest therein.  Did we not all catch the Brazilian wax episode of Sex and the City?  Ladies!  Less is MORE.  It’s just not attractive to wear everything God gave you.  Even boys are trimming these days, part of our porn-infused culture. Here’s how to deal with the Bermuda Triangle gracefully. You’ll need:

• Scissors
• Razor

There’s no need to carve out a heart or star shape unless you really want to make a statement.  (Of what, exactly, I can’t begin to imagine, except Beware Heavy Traffic).  First the prep-work.  Take your scissors, and pulling small tufts between index and middle finger, neatly trim all over. 

Next, get in the bathtub.  In reclining position, take razor and gently run it over mons veneris downward in the direction of the hair using small, light strokes, just going over the surface of the hair, not making contact with your skin.  Don’t bear down.  You are NOT shaving – you are thinning. 

Don’t take the hair down as if it’s your legs; you’ll wind up like a bald turkey and have to go through the pricklies while it grows back.  The look you want is about an 1/8 inch of hair, for a downy, well kempt look.  Make sure to spread em and catch your upper inner thighs, too. Nuff said.  

May 20th, 2007