My brothers and my father have a phrase, the “cheater’s fire.” This means a fire made by any other means than the continual stuffing of crumpled-up newspaper around kindling, while praying that the whole thing catches. Using gas or fake logs to help the fire along is a big no-no because it’s not manly. Many’s the holiday where this process continued for a half an hour or more before ignition.Â
I, in my advancing years, simply don’t have a spare half hour. Nor do I care about being manly. Here, a recipe for the cheater’s fire. Â
-
Open flue
-
Pop Duraflame log on grate (yes, it’ll make the fire a tad hot, but you’re a grownup. You own fire tools). Light where indicated.
-
Blow on the log to move it along. When the paper has been fully burnt away, lay 2 to 3 smaller logs crosswise on top of the Duraflame. Use the fabulous bellows of your lungs to get it all blazing cheerily.
-
Enjoy fire – and feminine ability to cut corners.
Where do you get your burning wood? That’s what God made big lumberjacks for. Call one, and have a half cord delivered.
