My brothers and my father have a phrase, the “cheater’s fire.” This means a fire made by any other means than the continual stuffing of crumpled-up newspaper around kindling, while praying that the whole thing catches. Using gas or fake logs to help the fire along is a big no-no because it’s not manly. Many’s the holiday where this process continued for a half an hour or more before ignition.
I, in my advancing years, simply don’t have a spare half hour. Nor do I care about being manly. Here, a recipe for the cheater’s fire.
Open flue
Pop Duraflame log on grate (yes, it’ll make the fire a tad hot, but you’re a grownup. You own fire tools). Light where indicated.
Blow on the log to move it along. When the paper has been fully burnt away, lay 2 to 3 smaller logs crosswise on top of the Duraflame. Use the fabulous bellows of your lungs to get it all blazing cheerily.
Enjoy fire and feminine ability to cut corners.
Where do you get your burning wood? That’s what God made big lumberjacks for. Call one, and have a half cord delivered.
