How to Get out of Debt with Debit Cards
Perpetually, I used credit cards for convenience and routinely carried balances out of perverse laziness. Then, at a certain magic point, usually at the 8 or 9 hundred-dollar range, the balances would suddenly leap forward and mushroom crazily out of control into 2k, 3k, 4k and up. I always wondered how this mysterious alchemy occurred. [...]
How to Feng Shui For Relaxation
Was it the long needles plunging into almost every orifice of my body that led me to obsess over my acupuncturist’s house? Possibly. There wasn’t anything else to look at. I also figured I should say nice things about her place. (Just a feeling. Needles.) I had come to lose the tobacco, but instead I [...]
How to Fix Your Computer Mouse
I felt a cyber tantrum coming on. My computer mouse was misbehaving – badly. Instead of gliding like an Ice Capades star over its happy Bugs Bunny mousepad, my mouse had turned surly. Sticky. Bitchy. Start. Stop. Glug. Suddenly my mouse demanded the hand and eye coordination of a Swiss watchmaker. What was this resistance? [...]
Start Your Personal Gift Registry
Every year at the holidays or just before my birthday, some well meaning person will ask, “Hey, what do you want?” “Oh, nothing,” I say. “Or just something teeny-tiny.” I do mean that, usually. Or maybe what I really mean is: I don’t want you to feel you HAVE to do something, and I don’t [...]
How to Manage Email Better
I love email. It’s like passing notes in middle school, except this time everybody is literate and it’s a lot more interesting to read. Plus there is usually no suspense about whether someone likes me or not. The problem is, I’ve fooled around and worked a whole bunch of people into my daily rotation. Much [...]
How to Do the Burning Man Festival
Does your idea of paradise involve pitching a tent for a week in a baking desert inferno at 115 degrees? Want some naked dancing, lots of crafts, no running water, and a giant pagan Wicker Man flambe to keep you company? You’re in luck. Since 1986, the nation’s bohemian cognoscenti have converged on a remote [...]
How to Handle a High School Reunion
I’m about to come crashing into a very scary ghost. No, it is not rattling chains in the attic, getting on my nerves. It is a more personal haunting. I’m about to revisit the Ghost of Me Past, courtesy of my upcoming twentieth high school reunion. And while my head is still spinning, I’ll then [...]
The Oxy Moron
At a certain point in life, Oxy 5 gives way to the Oil of Olay. Wake up, Homecoming Queen. You are getting dry under the eyes and your face is no longer a potential strike for wildcatters. What should be cause for celebration, though, comes with a downside. It is time to be slathering your [...]
How to Stock a Medicine Cabinet
What You Need As An Adult, Capable of Staunching Wounds Gauze pads and bandages in assorted sizes Adhesive tape, excellent for former love interests whom you’ve abducted and are systematically torturing Individually packaged alcohol wipes, no, that’s what the Sambuca is for, doll Disposable latex gloves Scissors and tweezers Syrup of ipecac for poisoning, should [...]
How to Find the Right Exercise Program
Are you the one at the pool with the towel oh-so-casually draped around your wideload hips? No one ever fell for that trick, clever though it is. Or what about the old I’m-just-backing-away-from-the-bed-because-I-just-don’t-feel-like-walking-forward-right-now move? Nice concept. Try again. There’s never been any way around the whole exercise thing. It’s how you get a great body. [...]
How to Order Coffee at Starbucks
Intimidated by the barista? Yes, the’re talking another language at Starbucks. Here’s how to order what you want without feeling like a drooling moron. Breve(Brev-ay) a latte with heavy whipping cream instead of milk Dry, more foam than milk on top of your coffee (helps keep it warm) Non-fat, lowfat or skim milk in place [...]