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recipes Archive
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Break Up Stress and Mood Disorder Easy Recipe
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments1 favorite CD “he” gave you 2 – 6 bottles Merlot 1 late night, say about 3 a.m. Dash of Self Pity Insert CD into CD player and listen repetitively. Slowly ingest the contents of two to six bottles of Merlot, mixing with music and... -
Recipe for End of Blogger Romance
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments1 midmonth PMS bout17 horrified remembrances of eating chocolate, chips, or cheeseburgers 1 broken romance 1 endless maw of a blog 1 US economic slowdown Combine exaggerated PMS symptoms with relentless thinking about last few days’ caloric ingestion. Simmer heartbreak with fears about making enough... -
Recipe for Raining Down Vengeance
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments1 seriously bad attitude 1 pair of jeans that really fit and make you look good 3 shots Cuervo, no salt, lime yes 1 unwitting victim who makes the mistake of looking down your shirt Shake bad attitude gently to aerate, then pour slowly into... -
Recipe for Smarminess
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments1 child actor 1 Oscar nomination, or movie script featuring terminal illness 1 studied attempt at naturalness Directions: Just mix with audience – and enjoy. Did you like this? Share it:Tweet -
Recipe for the Ultimate Hissy Fit
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments1 grievance – real or imagined 1 previous bad event, shortly prior 1 excellent outfit with appropriate shoes and bag Simmer earlier resentment from unrelated event with new ingredients til boiling. Stir pot vigorously, cover, let steam form. Wait for lid to fly off. Serving... -
Perfect Bar BS Detector
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No CommentsBar B-S Detector Recipe 1 pre-existing Significant Other 1 complete lack of interest in sex with BS artist Did you like this? Share it:Tweet -
Recipe for Bar Hookup
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments1 bar full of low-discernment barflies, fully crocked 2-16 shots to quell hibitions 1 quasi-attractive performer, drunk on Miller Light 1 evening, gettin’ on past midnight 1 of those aforementioned low-discernment barflies Directions: Actually, I don’t think they really need our help. Did you like... -
Recipe for Relationship Breakup
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments2 squirming people who really do not want to have this conversation 1 reference to “energy” 1 “oh, no, it’s me” 5-6 halting pauses 1 guilt attack Fold ingredients together, reserving guilt in separate container, till mixture congeals and forms soggy, malleable mess. Serving Tip:... -
Recipe for a Bad Date
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments2 agendas 1 brightly lit, warmish environment perhaps guarded by Cerberus? 0 sexual tension 1-5 bottles Merlot Directions: Apply alcohol liberally and soak overnight. Do not consume leftovers. Did you like this? Share it:Tweet -
Recipe for Good Date
Posted on May 21, 2007 | No Comments1 subjective opinion that your companion is very attractive 2 randy human beings 1 low light environment 1 obsequious waiter working his tip by fulsomely complimenting what a great couple you mate. I mean, make. 1-3 bottles Merlot Directions: You need directions? Did you like...